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Thursday, 30 October 2014

Oct 8th - First Day of Homelessness

It feels good to be out of the toxicity of my brother's home. So good not to have to breathe it in and use all my energy to stay centered and at the same time I feel like I'm in a cloud of non-reality. How did all this happen and what is going to happen and will I be OK? Going with Trust.

To Magaret 

The pop song.

I sing with her
the girl who 
on the school pick up
looked alarmed
to see me, this stranger 
seat-belted beside her mother
the little girl
who got into the back seat
and refused to talk.
we sing on her sofa
her emotions
weaving sounds
felt so deeply
too grownup
for her to have lived them
and I sing her harmonies
sitting in a welling
of magic
feeling our roots
as one.

three wonderful things today

1. I helped in a PhD study into mindfulness. Wow, wow, wow. We meditated together and then Willeke interviewed me, about any detail of the meditation...and then stuck with it, asking all sorts of questions about those five seconds when it happened. I have never looked at life so closely, didn't have the words actually for a lot of it, and suddenly I realised how I experience myself, how that mini experience actually had all the information of the whole...how MUCH info was there. We spoke about those 5 seconds for 45 minutes!!! It was really really mind opening. In short conclusion I realised that life can take so many forms that as a human being my mind cannot even start to conjure up, and so I can leave the idea of what is to become of me to a higher wisdom, and simply stay present in this present. Words, words, words, but how to convey those messages that come from within? Thank you so much Willeke for opening up a new world to me.

2. On the bus to Winchester, that went from outside Willeke's offices at the University (love it...couldn't have planned it so well) there was a beautiful rainbow.

3. Edith, my class mate in the counselling course, opened up her house to me.She has two daughters, the eldest (10 yrs old) refused to talk at first. I felt a little uncomfortable suddenly in an almost strangers house, and we stumbled around a little in awkwardness...then Edith gave me a glass of wine without offering (I like to say that I don't really drink) and half way through we relaxed. Another woman came around to collect her son, who didn't know either of us either, and we had a wonderful candlelit night talking about life, honest, funny, uplifting. Afterwards Edith and her eldest, Magaret, (who didn't want to talk at first) sang together and we did different dances and I taught them to do the upside down asana. It just felt really really magic.

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