vipassana

tonight, like always on a sunday night, i arrived at the open door of the yoga place, puffing like a kangaroo. it's not just the death dash trying to get to somewhere on my bike in minus minutes, jumping up gears to terrorist style crossings of red lights, bullying cars out of the way and general non green cross code man stuff, but it's also the climb up the stairs. Inca galore.

so, comma, hot and sweaty, i go into the meditation hall, seeing all of the relaxed wannabe buddhas, and hitch up my t-shirt. god, or rather, shiva, i've got to get some heat out.

and there you have it. there is nothing more to do, but cross those legs, close the eyes and sit. it is what is more commonly known as meditation. some people confuse sitting with your eyes closed (meditation) with gaining super human powers like such as those sported by experienced gurus, but not at my level. my challenge is being able to just sit down, close my eyes and stopping sweating.

if you really get into it, if you can relax enough concentrating on your breathing in , out, in , out, in , out - your monkey brain stops creating so much pollution. ohh, and then you can really breath nice and long and feel like, after all that mad cycling, viaferrata style stair climb, shoes off and tshirt up, like you've really got to where you were wanting to go to.

like when you have to rush for a train, you've slammed the house door shut, opened it again for that forgotten sandwich, run like buggery, almost screamed without realising "a single trip!" watched the woman who is a slow movement competition and personally in no rush to issue any ticket, and done a 100 meter sprint to the open doors of the train.

once you get in, to your own shock and that of those around you, you've got to where you were going. but really the journey's only just begun...

i started to adjust to sitting and started paying attention to my body. it was still there even though i've not stopped long enough to feel it for some time. and inside, i am still there. that inside glowing feeling that i call me. the eternal me. it's like a flood of relief to be in contact again. like a silently exquisite gentle orgasm as energy is pouring into me from inside me.